Mucking through the Madness

I had a stack 3xs the average, I was hitting hands and I had a couple easy targets just waiting to give me even more chips last night in the Mookie.
So why was I also writing an article and messing around with my iTunes?
Why wasn't I 100 percent into it?
Perhaps I knew what was coming.
I knew, deep down, there was probably no way I was going to outlast yet another huge Mookie field. And I was exhausted and also knew that I would have to put in another two hours in order to even make the final table.
I really think I played great last night, and I rarely say that about my tournament play. I made a nice bluff early on when a fourth diamond hit the board and my opponent checked, obviously spooked, so I bet close to the pot, and he folded what I'm sure was a made hand, much better than my K-J.
I was aggressive and made the right reads. That work I've done lately on picking spots has paid off, and I'm feeling better about my tournament game now. I'll always play tight, that's just who I am, but now I've got enough aggression to make it to a final table.
At least, I think.
I'm also growing more and more weary of tournaments. Later in the tournament, I'm the big stack at my table, and a guy in middle position raises. I have 10-10 and shove on him, for two reasons. One, I'm thinking I have a big stack and he might just fold, and two, I'm thinking the odds are that everyone else will fold is pretty high as well. Plus I do have a hand if he calls.
Well, the BB has J-J, and my stack is cut in half.
I don't know. Maybe that's a bad play. I'd love to hear your thoughts. But exactly the kind of shit that befalls me week after week in the Mookie. There's a less than 20 percent chance someone has a higher pair than me, and sure enough, someone has it.
Still, I'm building my stack back, mainly by shoving on weak limpers when it's around to me, and I'm in business when I get K-K for the third time that night. EP raise puts me all in, so I call, and he has J-J.
I won't go on only to say that this is also the third or fourth week in a row that my higher overpair hasn't held up. It's getting old.
If I only played tournaments, I'd hate poker by now, and I don't know if I'll play the Mookie next week. I think the BBT3 is an awesome, awesome thing for us, but it's making the fields in the Mookie a little large, and I don't know if I want to wade through all that when I really just play the Mookie to play against good players and learn some things, not win a seat to a tournament I won't win.
Fortunately there's always the cash tables to keep my poker happy and healthy.
Oh, and Kansas, who plays Friday. This is the greatest time of year, even if it is another tournament.