Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I forgot to read the fine print

Alterate titles for this post:
• The uterus that cried wolf.
• Oops
• Just kidding
• Top ten reasons why false labor rocks (I could only think of two so I had to discontinue that)
• Oh well, at least (maybe) I'll get to play The Mookie.

We were at the hospital until 3:45 a.m. after contractions began at 9:30 p.m. and did not stop and in fact got stronger and were 5-7 minutes apart. That seems like labor to me. How about you?

But I forgot to read the fine print:

*Contractions even 5-7 minutes apart do not necessarily mean babies are on the way. Uterus will not be held responsible for a lack of sleep, disappointment or embarassment felt if in fact babies do not come. All rights reserved. Past performance does not guarentee future success. It's a good idea to test uterus 2-3 times before water actually breaks. Do not be alarmed by babies moving around in the womb and stretching stomach out to "Alien" like proportions as they just want to know why the hell Mom has those funny 'monitor-disc' things on the belly. Pain does not mean babies are on the way. Playing Sarah McLachlan on the stereo provided by the room because your wife likes it apparently may in fact hinder delivery from happening. It doesn't matter how much you want the babies to just be here so you can move on, it happens when they are ready, not you. Future labor contractions may in fact be false as well so tough shit."

P.S. You girls are SO grounded when you get out.


jjok said...

paging Braxton.....haha

mookie99 said...

Ha ha!!!

See you tonight...maybe.

Stacie said...

3 weeks of that shit is what I had to put up with. Tell Kate to have a glass of wine; that is actually what my midwife suggested to help me sleep. Raspberry leaf tea may help too.

I was wondering if you would be interested in participating in the Multiple Mom Movie Madness thing I have going on: I mean, you aren't a MOM, but you've got the multiples thing going on and I understand you know how to use iMovie...

Chipper said...

Thing is about babies, you can't reason with them either before or after they're born for at least a few years. They set the agenda, they dictate how much sleep they want you to have (and when). To them, a full diaper is no different than a clean diaper unless it hasn't been changed for a while. Get ready - they are coming - only when they are good and ready. I'll be praying for you. Prepare for the next 18 years it's coming soon.

Oh - the trick to inducing real labor is this: you and your wife go for a nice long walk after dinner and by 9am the next morning - boom they will be born. Worked for all 3 of my kids.

Gydyon said...

lol -- You are the third poker blogger I am aware of with twins on the way.....

And we also had a bout of "latent labor" this weekend.... sigh.