Variance is a cold, hard bitch

Never, ever shave while playing poker.
I'll explain why in a second.
You've read plenty of bad beat posts. You won't see specifics here, but let's just say variance decided to put on a some steel-toed boots and kick me square in the nuts a few times last night.
When it was all done, I was down two $25 buy-ins.
That's the most Ive lost in a night, I think.
It's been a long time, at least.
February was a terrific month, probably way better than it should have been, so I know this is what we call a correction.
And I know, wah wah wah. I can hear all of you telling me to suck it up.
OK, sure. I know.
The thing about bad streaks, though, is they keep resurfacing when you think they are over to snatch out your heart, hold it up for the natives and throw it into the fire.
Last week I was card dead before a Friday session put me at a loss for the week.
I can handle card dead.
Who can't?
But it wasn't too bad until tonight.
Corrections:
• A beautiful set of 10s ruined by a spade on the river (meanwhile, the person raised me twice and called my all in with merely the draw and then tried to justify it, saying he had a 50 percent chance of making it on the river, um, no, donkey, you didn't, but please keep believing that and what was your name again so I can take it down?).
• K,K ruined when a guy calls me with J,9 (top pair on the board, but...) and a 9 comes on the river.
Bye bye $25 after those two.
• I get J,J. I don't like J,J a ton but I do raise, and the Flush 50 percent guy raises me all in with his last $5. He is wild (yeah, surprise, he donked off all my money), so I call, WTF, and he has QQ.
Yep.
OK, that's only $5. I've got $20.
I'm not really thinking turn it around. That's danger talk. I'm thinking cut it in half. Cut the losses tonight in half. Or at least work off a bunch of points and just break even.

So I run into a card dead session, which, when you think about it, makes sense, since I was getting great hands, even if they were getting torn apart.
So for an hour and a half, I put up with 8,3; 9,2; 10,2; K,3; etc, etc., etc.,
Well, at least I'm not losing money.

So I go into the bathroom to shave and let the poor hands keep being dealt.
I hear the chirping but I ignore it until curiousity gets the best of me.
I run in.
And see A,A.

Being automatically folded.
Because I didn't get there a second too early.

OK.
So I do get 5,4 two pair, a BB special, and I make a little off that. Then I get A,K, and a K flops, and I get a little more off that, and I'm back up to $25.

OK, well, not bad, I think, as I almost finish shaving.

Then AA appears again.
So I raise $1 and get four callers.
9,4,3 comes down.
They all fold to my $2 bet except for one. He raises me.
OK, would a guy really have a pocket pair?
Maybe, but I have to push with this.
Raise, raise, raise, he shoves his $21 in, and I call, hoping he has A,9.
He has 4,4.
But then...
An A appears on the turn.

Finally, justice. Finally, I get to suck out on someone instead of the other way around. Finally. This will make up for all the losses tonight. It won't be that bad of a night at all, actually. Just a few bucks after those brutal beats? I can handle that, I mean, what's a few bucks, right?
It's nothing, I can...
wait...
what was that river card?

Yep.
A 4.

And I'm glad we don't use straight razors anymore to shave.