Fuck March

(Editor's note: It's rant time. Deal with it.)

First my Jayhawks lose in the NCAA tournament.
Now I suffer yet another week of suckouts.
I really can't tell you how many times I've been in with the best of it and the river has fucked me.
At least 20.
I'm serious.
I know you won't believe me, but it's true.
OK, Variance, thank you for a wonderful February, no need to punish me anymore for it.
The thing that really pisses me off is I rarely, rarely suck out. Almost never. Maybe once this month.
Why? Because I'm not a fucking donkey. I don't get my money in with the worst of it. I don't call a fucking all-in with two diamonds when I am chip leader so I can get my third on the river and then type in the box about how I knew that was going to happen.
So, what I'm saying is, I don't need suckout luck. I don't really even need much luck, other than getting hands to play.
What I need is normal poker. When I put my money in with the best of it, I need to win most of the time. Notice I am not saying all of the time. Like, say, when I get my money in, and I'm an 80 percent favorite, I need to win 80 percent of the time, instead of losing 80 percent of the time.
I should not be punished for playing good poker.
But I am.
So fuck you, donkey.
Fuck you, variance.
Fuck you, poker gods.
Just go fuck yourself.
Please.