Monday, February 23, 2009

Four apparent and obvious rules of having multiples

1. They can be easily categorized, like library books, kittens in a litter or cartoon characters - Like one is "the active one," "the naughty one," "the tester," "the funny one" or "the smart one."

I find myself doing this, too, to others' credit, but I really need to stop. Labels aren't good for anyone, especially girls. It's OK to say "Allie is more independent" because she is, but it's not OK to say "Allie is the girly girl of the two."

2. If you have twins or triplets, you MUST watch "Jon and Kate Plus 8."

OK, OK, we do watch it, and I enjoyed how they raised several issues of having multiples that we go through, too. But I got a little tired of this show. It seems like they have taken it over and do shows on how they prepare dinner and things now rather than really did deep into their relationship. And I love it when Jon stands up to her, but that doesn't happen nearly enough.

3. If you have multiples, you automatically agree with any attempts for parents to have children with a doctor's help, including in-vitro fertilization, implantation, or warm KY Jelly. This, of course, includes that crazy-ass woman who was determined to have eight children at once, raising her total to 14, meaning she now has more offspring than a feral barn cat.

This one baffles me. Of course I am supportive of any parents who want to us whatever is out there for the joys of having children. I know a few who now have kids as a result. There are some miracles out there. But why does everyone assume that's how we had our twins? I've even been asked many times lately, "Why did you have treatments if you have a single son too." Is that was this batshit crazy woman has done, just made everyone assume that every pair of multiples was created in a test tube?
And EVERYONE who finds out we have twins brings up that woman. It's not the same thing, folks. Not even close. Not even remotely close.
That woman is nuts. Nuts! We aren't. Usually.

4. If you have twins, you must love to talk about them to complete strangers all the time, even while you're trying to have dinners.

Rock stars must be the same way, right? Who wouldn't want to answer whether our twins were "natural" while we're trying to eat?


The Wife said...

I think next time someone wants to know if your twins are natural, just tell them you have supercharged sperm . . . that ought to shut them up.

My mom told a story of a nosy neighbor who wanted to know what kind of birth control she used because we were all spaced 3 years apart . . . she responded "well, I got divorced between the first and the second one . . . " and didn't get anymore questions.

SirFWALGMan said...

Say "You did your wife in the front, and your buddy did her anally, that is how twins are made." :P.