Sunday, January 06, 2008

Relative Ms and thoughts from the top

So when did it become OK to make fun of a guy for his weight on national television?
Yes, Kansas' football coach is a fat guy (see picture below). I've made several comments myself for that. My brother said it best: "He's the only guy I know who has cheek fat."
But he's also the mastermind behind one of the greatest turnarounds in recent college football history. Seriously, Kansas football is pretty much a joke in the history books.
And we just beat a top five team and won the Orange Bowl, and some people are saying we deserve a national title (I don't agree with that, but still, it's nice to hear).
And here's what the jackoffs from the Fox broadcast said at the end of the game:
"His players are looking for coach Mangino."
"Well, coach Mangino isn't hard to find."
Seriously, the guy's got an amazing story. He was living in a basement with his wife and kids at age 35 to pursue his dream to become a football coach. He's humble, yet he had a much better year than the tan and ivory-teethed Nick Saban, who Alabama puts before God.
Enough is enough.

So I was playing a home tournament with my buds last night, and I thought about posting about relative Ms, which I'm sure would get me much criticism, if any of the hardcore poker bloggers actually read this space.
But they don't (and I don't blame them, how many posts can you read about twins and late nights and diaper shit, after all), so I'm safe.
As an aside, the blinds are 13 minutes, meaning you'll get to see maybe one orbit before the blinds go up to 50/100, and you start with 2,500 chips. It costs $10 to enter, and the game is a mixture of complete and clueless donkeys who are there for fun and ask every time they're up "how much is it to me again?" to decent players who can't fold top pair to a few players like me, meaning they're good, winning recreational players but aren't going to challenge for a seat in the WSOP.
We had 14 players in both games last night, and the first game went exactly like most of my tournaments have gone in the last two months, meaning I got sucked out on hard and went out first.
The first hand I lost to a two-outer, and in the second hand, I had Q-Q and lost when someone called my 10xs big blind all-in (punishing three limpers) with...A-5. I have an A! I call!
And...well...he hit his A on the river, making it the 738rd time I've lost with the Cunts against a weak A. Have I mentioned I hate that hand? I have? OK.
In the second game, however, I got nuthin' for cards, which I'm fine with because the cards come later. Right? Sure. I get nothing save for A-6 sooted when my M is...well, I can't even complete the big blind if I fold here.
And someone raises. In early position. What do you do here? You have to push, right?
What if I told you you're certain the guy only raises with Aces, Kings or A-K?
Do you still call?
Here's the thing. I did not call.
I folded.
Bah, you say, how stupid. The guy flipped up Aces, and I would have been dead to clubs or trip 6s or a strange straight. No help.
I do not believe in committing suicide just because your M says you must.
And I folded because I looked at my relative M, and I realized the blinds were going up yet again in a minute, and I figured by the time the blinds reached me again, five other stacks would be toast.
Sure enough, the blinds are near me again, three stacks are gone, I'm three spots from the money, and I get Q-Q again.
Arrgh. I have to play it. A guy with K-10 calls me, and I'm so stunned when a K does not hit that they have to revive me with smelling salts.
I play again, blind, when I'm in the Big Blind because the big blind swallows my whole stack, and I have 9,4 against A-Q and 7-5 sooted.
I flop a four, it holds, and I'm OK shape. Q-10 outflops A-10 (on the river, heh) and my J-5 holds against 9-6 and suddenly I'm looking all right.
Suddenly I'm heads up, switch gears, bluff relentlessly against the big stack and when we're even, we chop.
It was a lucky comeback, for sure, but one that wouldn't have happened had I not broken a golden rule and instead focused on my relative M.
And that's my strategy post, sorta, for the month, because otherwise I'm not really qualified for such things.
Back to talking about babies.

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