If life is a musical, my life is a cartoon

In the glory days, my head was filled with Metallica, Miles Davis and other spots of metal, with maybe a little hip-hop and pop music.
Now it's Little Einsteins.
"You can do it XX (I forget), you can win the race because you are an amazing music car!" (Sung to the tune of that classical music song they played over "Masterpiece Theater.")
Or it's Winnie the Pooh.
"My friends Tigger and Pooh, we're always here for each oooootherrrrr."
Or it's "Handy Mandy."
"Blah blah blah blah...Se Vamonous!"
Kill me now.
OK, so, yes, our toddler probably watches a little too much TV. But the goal of our existence right now is to try to make it past the twins' first year without killing ourselves, each other or Jayden. Jayden is the easiest part. I'm not sure if we'll make it through. We probably will. You don't have to recommend anyone for us. Or call the police.
So, unfortunately, TV keeps Jayden at bay for a bit while the girls get fed, changed and given some sort of sleepy drug so they zone out for ah hour. I'm just kidding on that last part. Or am I?
And so we pay for our bad parenting by having the song dance through our heads all day. They so inanely catchy that they stick there, like flypaper to our brain, and nothing gets rid of it. Not Rihanna's "Umbrella," something screamy from "Headbangers Ball" or jazz music. Nothing. Because I still keep up with music, but now it's just downloaded into my iTunes folder, where I can listen to it during my runs or workouts and that's about it. So that aforementioned "Umbrella" song is still new to me even though radio stations have played it about 1,893,238,987,983 times. Or so I've heard.
This does, at least, motivate us to turn the damn stuff off and read a book to him. While holding a twin. Which usually works. Jayden's even wanted to "read" to the twins himself, which is really damn cute.
Maybe I can develop a show where the music is hair metal from the 80s. They can put cute lyrics to "Rock You Like A Hurricane" if "Little Einsteins" can put lyrics to classic classical music.
• • •
Well, I moved up on Ultimate Bet to .25/.50 NL after building my bankroll there playing $.10/.25 (I started at $200) and got it up to $1200. Well, I lost a bunch, so I'll have to move back down for a bit again. Actually, I only lost $100, but that was in three days, and that makes me nervous. Of course my losses were to a bunch of suckouts (guy getting his two pair on the river, AA cracked by JJ, that sort of thing). I don't know why I always manage to get in a downswing just as I move up in levels. It's really discouraging. I don't think I'm playing scared.
• • • 
I realize Bodog is a sponsor of this site, but Tuesday's blogger tournament honestly seems like a good deal and one worth pimping for reasons other than sponsorship. If you are one of five bubble spots, you get your money refunded ($11), and if you finish in the top five, you get $109 in tournament dollars, which Bodog says is an entry to its big Sunday tournament but I think can be used for anything. Top three finishers get bonuses in cash.
There haven't been a ton of bloggers show up to this so the overlay could be pretty sweet. It starts at 6:35 p.m. tonight, which sucks for me since all three kids are still up, but I'm going to try to make it tonight. I can't resist that deal. See you there.

Cash game Crunch

Well, that got a lot of responses.
Never mind, then. :P

No, I was going to say that I've heard that people should take more risks in a cash game because you can always rebuy, but I've never quite understood that thinking. When you're in a tournament, you have to take risks to accumulate chips or else the blinds will eat you alive. The blinds really aren't a factor in cash games at the limits most of us play. I actually prefer to bluff after the flop more than try to raise pre-flop in a cash game to keep my stack level.

But bankroll management is the most important thing you can do for your poker game, and it's simply not good bankroll management to think you can rebuy whenever. In fact if I lose more than two buy-ins I'm done for the night.

When you play a tournament, you can only lose your buy-in. You should take risks because your bankroll can afford it. Calculated risks, of course, but more risks than a cash game.

I am aggressive in a cash game, but not as aggressive as I am in a tournament. And I don't see why anyone would play any differently. I rarely go all in in a cash game preflop. I even hesitate to do it with KK. I never do it with QQ or below unless I know the guy is a complete moron or he's got a really short stack.

What's your philosophy in a cash game versus a tournament? How much are you willing to risk in a cash game, and on what kinds of hands?

Bad Girls

This could pertain to my twins, given that they refuse to come out of room right now. Not that I blame them. The womb is a pretty nice place. But come on, ladies, it's time to see the world! You come out of that room RIGHT NOW!
They're ignoring Daddy.
I"m told I'd better get used to it.
On a poker note — yes, I still play poker, every night, in fact — I've never understood why QQ is called the Hiltons. Are we naming that hand after Paris Hilton and her sister?
If so, good, because I hate Paris Hilton.
And I hate QQ.
I've lost more money with QQ than any other hand. I have made five times as much with 10,10 and JJ. Easily. QQ is like Paris, who looks really, really good on the surface and is a dangerous little wench underneath. Why does it continue to beckon to me? Like the stripper I once dated long ago, before I found the wholesome power rock that is Kate, I know I should get away from it more often but I just...can't.
All small with the board pairing? The guy has the other xx. Aggression before the flop? The guy always has KK or AA (and I always call, at least, with QQ unless it's a shove). Flop a set? It turns into a flush or a straight despite me blistering my finger on the raise button. I finally got stacked last night on a 6,2,9 board when the other guy showed no aggression pre-flop to my raise. I put him on JJ and shoved. He had a set. Maybe if I listened to my don't go broke with one pair mantra, I'd be OK.
I can make great laydowns. All the time. I have no idea why QQ is different.
Maybe it's the looks. That always gets the guys.
I did play the Mookie last night. I felt all right about it after struggling with SnGs lately (0-5 on cashing this week) and wondering why I bother playing them any more at all. Cash games are going so well, if SnGs weren't fun I would just ditch them completely. Strangely enough, my MTT game is pretty good now. It used to be horrible, but generally in every Mookie I've played I've either made the final table or put myself in a good position to do so. I was a coin flip away from being in the top 10 after gasping on life support earlier that night.
By the way, Mookie is playing his ass off. He barely missed another final table. Good show. JJOK seems to be another hot player right now, but he's got the mutiple power working for him.
See, girls, JJOK did a good job with his girls. It's OK to come out. Join the world.
Please.

Finishing Second to Mom is heartwarming but frustrating

For my new column for the Greeley Tribune, I"ll occasionally write a personal column, as I did last month about the Daddy Spot. This is my second one. I thought I would share it again.


A couple quick things:

• I am Mr. Split Personality. I"m just crushing the cash games right now (three-tabling $25 NL on Ultimate Bet), but my SnG game has gone in the tank. I"m still making good decisions, but all my good hands have not held up or I'm just running into monster coolers. But my Mookie game is strong, as last week's third-place finish and fourth-place position on the leaderboard shows.
Of course, this is much better than tanking the Mookie and the cash games and doing well in SnGs, so I'm not complaining.

• Speaking of The Mookie, I'll be there tonight. It's been a blast lately with the good turnouts.




Here's the column:





There is nothing in this world that warms my heart more than when Jayden says, "Daddy!"

But I don't hear it as often as I'd like.

"Mom?" Jayden says to me as Kate drives away for a break with her friends, leaving him in my care at Pheasant Run Park during a glorious evening.

Jayden is a couple months shy of his second birthday, and he's learned to say a few words. He can't put together sentences yet, but one word usually does the trick. "Mom?," of course, means "Where the heck is Mom?"

He asks that 10 more times as our mini-van drives away.

In our home, Mom, not Daddy, is King.

When Kate places him on the bed in the morning, in the few minutes I'll have with him before I have to get ready for work, Jayden usually cries out of fear that Mom will go away. At night, when I'm excited to see him, Jayden squirms when I pick him up, angling his way back to Mom. When I open my arms as he watches "Cars," he'll nod his head "No" and nuzzle up next to Mom.

It's not all bad. When I lay on the floor, Jayden inevitably can't resist the urge to dogpile me. When he's playing in the backyard, Jayden usually comes in to "ask" me to join him (the kid already knows his father). And when I come home, he always says, "Daddy!"

Then he goes back to Mom.

"Mom?" Jayden says to me at the park, in between slides down on his belly while he says "weeeee!" He just saw a woman get out of another minivan who looks like a mom. She is a mom. Just not Mom.

"Go play," I say.

I've got no one to blame for this but myself. I put in my fair share of time, even watching him on Fridays, one of my "weekend" days for working Sunday, but Kate puts more hours than me. She gets up with him early to watch cartoons, feeds him breakfast and takes him to day care. She is extremely good at being Mom.

But other times I wonder if it would make a difference if I, say, fixed him breakfast (we'll find out soon enough, when the twins arrive). After spending all day with him Friday, on Saturday morning, Jayden favors Mom once again. Jayden doesn't hand out extra credit for a day spent with him. Either that or Mom gets awarded double points.

I have to admit, sometimes I get a little jealous at being second fiddle, even when I realize that my mom is the first person I call when I'm sick. And I'm 35.

I also know our roles are different. I'm the one Jayden can dogpile. I'm the one who throws him under the bed to make forts. I, more than Kate, take him to the park.

"Daddy?" Jayden says, in the distance, as he struggles to find his way through a plastic tube filled with screaming children. "I'm here," I answer.

Jayden appears a moment later, after another trip down the slide, with his arms outstretched to me, so I can pick him up and put him on a wheel that spins around and around. He laughs. I laugh. He turns to look at me and touches my nose. I pretend to eat his hand. He laughs and wants to be put down. He runs off to the slide again.

"Daddy!" he says, again, before I tell him it's time to head to the car and grab some dinner. It's times like these when the jealousy fades, and I feel good about my place in his world.

Then, as we're walking back to the car, he looks over at another mini-van that's just pulled up. A woman yells at her kids to get in the car.

"Mom?" Jayden asks and looks at me.

Sigh.

— Dan England covers the outdoors, entertainment and the environment for The Tribune. His column runs on Tuesdays. If you have an idea for a column, call 392-4418 or write dengland@greeleytribune.com.

Crushing the Minnows

I have never "gotten" American Idol.
I don't begrudge too many folks for watching it. But really it's a crappy show. It's an overblown karaoke contest, and the winner gets to release a bad album. I mean did anyone like Taylor Hicks' album? Really?

I'm saying that, of course, not to bag on karaoke, so relax, Soul Brother. Karaoke is fine for what it is. Most of the people having fun in a bar, I'm assuming, aren't out for a record deal.
There's a lot more to singing than just getting the notes right (and half of this year's contestants don't seem to nail that too well). There's expression and mood and, most of all, interpretation, and every single singer, save, maybe, for Kelly Clarkson, are about as interesting as a bowl of Cherrios in skim milk. There's no style, surprisingly little substance and yet it's the top show every week.
I don't get it.
Which is why I love Sanjaya.




American Idol fans recoil in horror at this mess of a human being. Pot Committed, in her brilliant reviews of the show (almost makes me want to watch it, but I've long since been one of her blog's biggest fans, so she could write about the virtues of lawn care and I'd read it), tells us to put Sanjaya out of his misery.
No way, Jose.
Sanjaya exposes the show for what it is. They picked him, now they can deal with him. Vote for this guy every week until he's the winner. Please. Everyone sucks anyway. Let's have some fun with it and embarass the show. It certainly deserves it.



In the meantime, I have been feeding on the minnows at $25 NL poker again. I hadn't played it for months but I've gotten back to it on Ultimate Bet. Why? I deposited $200 there just before the whole Neteller thing went down. Since then I've treated each bankroll on my three poker sites as a separate account. I haven't signed up for ePassporte yet because I'm a little leery after still having $700 of my monies being trapped in virtual land. If others have had good experiences with it let me know.
So now my bankroll is $475 on Ultimate Bet, and so I'm still being responsible with it. Plus the players still are bad there. It's almost hard to resist. I'll start playing $50 soon, once I build the bankroll a little more on UB.
I find myself playing more and more cash games these days and fewer and fewer SnGs. I've found my win rate is much higher in the cash games.
Plus, speaking of the non-minnow crowd, I've found that stuff like the tournament below seems to satisfy my appetite for tournaments.

And here's where you'll see me tonight:




We've had a good crowd the last couple of times, so stop on by and watch me blow another big lead!