Friday, February 03, 2012

A letter to my twin girls

It's a tradition to write a Valentine's Day letter to the pre-schoolers at the place where my girls attend.
Here is what I wrote to them:

Dear Andie and Allie - 

We have tried not to lump you in with each other. We sing "Happy Birthday" twice on your special day. We don't make you wear the same clothes. We don't even buy you the same toys at Christmas, even at the risk of a fight later on. 
But we're writing this letter to both of you, rather than each of you, because the point of this letter is for both of you.
The reason we have tried to treat you like two daughters, rather than a unit, is because you are individuals. Fiercely so, sometimes, as we saw with many tantrums last year. Allie is gentle and careful and Andie attacks the world with the spirit of a wildland fire. Allie, you like Hello Kitty, a tribute to your middle name, Katherine, after Mommy, because we call you "Allie Cat." Andie, you like fairies such as Tinkerbell, the kind of characters who have the same energy and wonder about the world as you.
There will be many people who will try to assign you roles because you are twins. Allie will be The Dancer, and Andie will be The Athlete. Allie will be the dainty one, and Andie will be the Tomboy. People like categories. But the best thing about you two is even though you were born at the same time, and you even carry the same genes, like you were scooped from the same bowl of ice cream, you really are individuals. You are as different as your DNA is the same.
It's OK to be proud of being a twin. We love it. We brag about you all the time, and we've learned a lot ourselves. On the few occasions you let us pick your outfits out, sometimes we like to dress you two alike. And though we say we're sorry when we mistake you for your sister, which you always correct before we finish the sentence, we also think it's funny. Stand up for each other. Be as close when you graduate high school as you are now in pre-school. Love each other.
But never, ever forget you are your own person. 
We don't think you will. In fact, we already feel sorry for the people who think otherwise.
We love you,

Mommy and Daddy


BWoP said...

Love love love!

Jordan said...


Jeff Valliere said...

Great post Dan, I think about this often.