Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Questions raised by hair metal songs

• If you're already hot and sticky sweet, do you really want someone to pour some sugar on you? Isn't that ENOUGH sugar already, man? Do you have a problem with your sweet tooth or something?
• If you're man is working hard, I think he's worth a LOT more than a "Deuce," which to me means something that ain't exactly a reward, if you get my drift.
• How do you get "Naughty Naughty" as opposed to just naughty? And, no, I don't think "down and dirty" is enough of an answer.
• If a guy whines like a toddler for you to "Wait" throughout the song, are you really gonna be attracted to him at the end?
• How do you live on the edge of a broken heart? Did you get a bad note between sixth and seventh hour, but you don't know if you're actually broken up until the bell rings?
• If a girl tells you "she's only 17," isn't that a sign you should probably move on?
• If your heart needs to be kickstarted, shouldn't you be, like, dead?
• Can a girl have a love machine?
• If you're shouting it, isn't it already out loud?
• What exactly are they burning up there in Heaven for it be on fire? Aren't there just like a bunch of clouds and stuff?
• Do you REALLY need bad medicine? I prefer the good kind.
• What exactly is "motorin'?"
• How effective would shouting at the devil really be? I mean, it's the DEVIL. Can't he just spear you with his pitchfork or take your soul or something?
• If you really wanna rock, can't you just, you know, do it?
• Where, exactly, should I jump? Do you mean in place?
• When he said I really wanted to lay it down, was he trash talking in a poker match?

Can you name all these songs and the artists?


BWoP said...

I am by no means a metal afficionado, but I'm happy to say that I could name some of the artists / songs.

Countdown to Steel Panther begins. Maybe they'll play the Asian Hooker song this time . . .

The Wife said...

Lol . . . clearly some rhetorical questions. But I clearly know the difference between "naughty" and "naughty, naughty" - they could have just called it "Wife naughty", had they known . . .

Good brain teaser . . . but nice try . . . aren't they all sung by the same band in different outfits? :)

Just teasing . . . I'm pretty sure I can get most . . .

Just can't wait!!!!! Now you've got me thinking . . . Steel Panther!

BadBlood said...

Yes, yes I can. Right now. And how.

Drizztdj said...

Can a girl have a love machine?

You'll find it in her nightstand, or maybe under the bed.

The Wife said...

Real women don't need a machine, Drizz. Just a good imagination.

OhCaptain said...

Does it make me sound old if I had several of these on cassette and a couple on vinyl?

pokerpeaker said...

No, Capt., because I did too. ALL of them on cassette, I think. Now I have them on CD.