• "When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all"
Who the hell invented this nursery rhyme and why is a song about a baby crashing to earth (along with the crib) supposed to soothe my kids? Should I read a "Friday the 13th Part 8" picture book before they hit the hay too?
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after"
Great, a fable about a hiking trip gone very wrong. You people are just sick.
• • •
Haiku tribute to my girls:
Daddy, how could you say that?
No more sleep for you.
• • •
"So you have twins."
"Cool. Two for the price of one."
Huh? Of all the stupid twins comments I've heard so far - and granted I'm new to this game, and no one has mentioned my fertility rate yet - this is the dumbest.
This comment almost implies it's EASIER to raise a pair of infants rather than one. How they came to think this I have no idea. It's much harder. Even the pregnancy was much more difficult.
My twins readers know this. Try calming one baby down only to have the other one start up (two nights ago) over and over and over and let's see if you change your mind. I'll bet my bankroll you do. Plus the juggling is just unreal. You can't trade off feeding shifts, there isn't one to "play fetch," so when you both have a baby on your lap, one simply just has to get up and get the wipes, etc.
My answer to this now is "Two for the price of four."
• • •
If the twins are in fact identical, why is it that one is wide awake from 2:30 a.m. to 4 a.m. and then the other is awake from 9 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. and then 4:30 a.m. to 6 a.m.?
Identical means the same exact genetic material, right?
So is this nature versus nuture?
Environmental factors are playing a part?
What, then, am I presenting in our home environment that makes it seem OK to be awake at that time?
• • •
Actually, the last two nights have been good ones - they only got up once after I went to bed at midnight - so I can't bitch too much. BUT both babies were really fussing from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m., which explains my absense from the Mookie last night (I really miss that tournament). When Mom leaves things are going to be rough. She had one and I had one.
We're pretty sure the girls have acid reflux too, but this time we've jumped right on it. They are sleeping in their car seats (hint, new parents, the crib is not God), and we've started them on some medication. I don't like pumping our new babies full of meds, but if it makes them less miserable, then we're less miserable, and that's the goal.
• • •
Poker continues to be up and down. I'm basically like $30 ahead in the last two months despite the hours and hours and hours I've played at $25 NL. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Yes there's been the nice spate of suckouts and coolers, far too many to mention here, but I'm also making bad calls as well and paying some of those suckouts off. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong either.
Honestly there are times I feel like just stopping. Last night I had a great night, and I finished down thanks to a massive cooler when a guy had a Q-high flush over my J-high flush, and yes there were only three to the board. If you can fold that, you're a better player than me, and you always will be. Things like this are indeed my fault, and yet they've happened so much, it's why I'm even for the last two months.
I know it could be worse. From what I've read from other bloggers, a lot worse, actually. Whining over.
• • •
We're gearing to head to Salina, Kan., next Wednesday. That's where I used to work. It's also where Kate's grandmother lives. I don't know if I'd call four days with in-laws in one of the most boring and humid places on Earth with two newborn twins and a toddler fun. It might be boring, though - probably will be, in fact - and right now boring sounds pretty good.
Plus I can get a good peanut butter shake at the local burger joint. This place has like 453 shake flavors. What's your ideal shake flavor? Peanut butter for me. Oh and there's a place that also serves a monster-killer chicken dinner. That rocks.
Maybe that's why Kansas is filled with fat people. The highlights of their days involve food.